Father’s Day for me is now a melancholy experience. I certainly appreciate the attention that I get from my two boys and my wife. My younger son tends to make an artistic gift for me, since he’s the artist of the family, while my older one will scribble some sweet sentiments on a piece of scrap or notebook paper, and my wife will usually make me a glorious meal of my choosing.
While I appreciate all this love showered my way, I also get melancholy over the memory of …

Before I delve into the subject of “Shame,” I want to share some news of which I’m very unashamed and proud. I have a new radio show called “The Bruce Sallan Show–A Dad’s Point-of-View,” which is inspired, if not actually based, on my columns. It is broadcast on KZSB AM1290, The Santa Barbara News Press Radio Station, and can be heard “live” on Thursdays from 11:00 a.m. 12:00 p.m., PST with re-broadcasts each Thursday evening from 9:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m., PST and Saturdays from 12:00 p.m. – …

Is it ever okay to keep a secret from your spouse? If so, what secrets are okay and which are not? I would suggest there are times where a so-called “white lie” is a good thing while most of the time honesty is truly the best policy.
An example of a good “white lie” is the ubiquitous situation in which a wife asks her husband, “Am I looking fat?” or “How do I look in this dress?” We men know there’s only one answer, really: “You look …

This topic is so obvious yet I have yet to write about it. It may be partly because it is so close to home, for my boys. I was blessed to have my mother and father in my life completely and lovingly, until they died in recent years (at 89 and 90). They loved me, supported me, and told me the truth when I needed to hear it, whether I wanted it or not.
As is so often the case, I found their wisdom to be true …

Teen energy, angst, and anger manifest itself in so many ways. Every day it seems that we read about some teen that has done something unusually self-destructive, and occasionally destructive to others. Columbine was an extreme example of this. Many so-called “normal” teens tend to use or abuse the ol’ standbys of drinking, drugs, and sex to handle these emotions and changes. For my own 16-year-old, his reaction has been mostly anger. The irony is that I’ve found this to be both good and bad.
How hormones affect …

My wife dragged me to her church for an all-day seminar called “Turbulence Ahead–Parenting Teens Through the Bumpy Years.” I went along, in support of her and in support of her recent “turbulence” with our oldest son, who is 16½ and a handful. But, my initial reaction was that this was a long time to spend on a subject that I know pretty well.
At the seminar, it was quickly evident that my knowledge on the subject could certainly use a refresher, if not a full-on course. Within …

On May 3, 2010, my son’s dreams came true! He went to see his idol Chris Cornell at a benefit acoustic concert at The Roxy, on Sunset Blvd, in Hollywood, California. With his girlfriend Logan, they pushed their way to the front of the crowd. Cornell was playing acoustic guitar with only a cello as back up.
At a pause between songs, Arnie shouts out, “Hey, Chris, I have a question for you” and gets his attention, to which Chris asks, “Yes, what is it?” Arnie then shouts, “It’s been my …

There’s nothing new dealing with teens that think they know it all, but recently I’ve found that my 13-year-old is making me crazy with his attitude. I’ve got another teen at home – his 16-year-old brother, so I do have some experience living with a teen, but it doesn’t get any easier!
David and I occasionally go on short ski trips together, without his step-mom or older brother, and that is when David’s attitude tends to fully blossom. This “attitude” manifests itself in his regularly contradicting everything I say, questioning …

My son and I had an extraordinary experience this Spring Break while on a ski trip at Mammoth, California. It was just the two of us, since my wife stayed home for work and my older son preferred hanging out with his friends and girlfriend (I can’t blame him, as she’s wonderful). So, it was a special alone-time-trip with my younger son, David.
Because our skiing levels and skiing interests are quite different, we tend to prefer to ski separately. I have friends there and David had some …

This past Easter I was skiing with my younger son. As my middle-aged body gets sore from several hours on the slopes, I tend to indulge in the jacuzzi to ease some the aches I’ve earned each day. On this past Easter Sunday, I ended up sharing the communal jacuzzi at the condo complex with members of a family who shared some personal stories. For me, they were inspirational.
I met Bob (names all changed) who was single 30+ years after divorcing the mother of Sharon and Mark, …