Single dads have got their work cut out – being mum, dad and a hero all at the same time is going to take up a lot of energy…

Single dads are usually the result of either divorce or death but it may be through less common factors such a surrogate motherhood. In the instance of divorce the concept of being a single dad has time to dawn upon you but in the situation where it is from the death of the childs mother it may be unforeseen and as such dad is going to need to adapt to his new status very quickly.

5 Do’s and Don’ts for Single dads

Do’s

1. If the childs mother is still involved always ensure you are on time when picking up and dropping off your little treasure.
2. Always make your child payments.
3. Be flexible to the demands of your childs mothers needs whenever they are reasonable.
4. Make an effort to spend quality time with your child rather than just going through the motions.
5. Show your child some authority – as a single dad, dad-time can’t always be play-time.

Don’ts

1. Use your child as a bargaining chip.
2. Use you child to annoy or frustrate your ex-partner.
3. Say negative things about your childs mum in front of your child.
4. Keep changing arrangements with your ex-partner as it’ll cause more harm than good.
5. Introduce your child to a new girlfriend of yours every week. It’ll confuse them.

The following books should provide additional advice in what to and what not to do as a single parent:

Widowed dads

As a widower the first thing you need to do is come to terms with it and learn how to cope. As harsh as it sounds, your day to day activities are ongoing and your child needs you now more than ever.

There is now right way of coping with the loss of a loved one and everyone grieves in their own way. You can only do what you feel is best for you and your your children. Here are some pointers to help out in what is a difficult period of time:

• Don’t plan the future yet just let today be your focus. Put your efforts into planning out your childs day.
• Numbness, denial, fear, disbelief, confusion, anger and panic are all common when you are greiving. Even laughter is normal so don’t feel guilty about smiling and laughing – it’s perfectly normal.
• Don’t banish the memories of your spouse. Talk about your spouse with your children and remeber the good times.
• Do not feel rushed to clean out your spouse’s belongings. Take your time and deliberate over what you want to keep. Memories may be attached to items which you may want to keep for sentimental value.
• Accept help when it’s offered and if it’s not offered ask for help. Your family and friends want to help but probably don’t know how.
• Seek the help of a doctor or councillor if you feel you need to. There is no shame in asking for help. Just remeber you need to be right in the mind for the sake of your children. Likewise, consider the need for your children to see a bereavement councillor.
• Don’t try to find a replacement for your partner for at least a little while. If you feel you need to this reaction is due to the need for comfort and a shoulder to lean on. In the long term you may regret it.
• You shouldn’t feel guilty for living your life. It may seem impossible at present but you must try and get on with things.

As mentioned above you should call upon doctors, councillors, family and friends for all the support that they can muster. In addition you should contact your local concil to find out if any support groups operate in your local community.

Money for Widowed Fathers

Men who’ve been widowed and who are bringing up children could be entitled to £120 a week in benefits. If you have dependent children, this is classified as somebody under 16 or up to age 19 and still in full time education, you are entitled to this new bereavement benefit plus a lump sum payment of up to £2,000. This is based on the deceased partner’s national insurance contributions and it not taxable.

For more information click the link below:

Are you a Single dad looking for love?

If you’ve been a single dad for a long time maybe you’re on the look out for a new adventure – click the link below and who knows what the future may hold…..

Author: SuperDads

We’re here to make a difference. Superdads not only offers advice but we are her e to promote the importance of fatherhood. Many people are oblivious to the fact that Dads really do matter and this is something we’d like to put right.

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